Underneath The Soul
by Summersetlights
Summary: A death of a friend, might bring Eli and Clare together in grief.


_**Disclaimer:I don't own Degrassi. **_

_**I got this story idea from reading The Heart Rate Of A Mouse by arctic_grey**_

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><p><em><strong>I. Death<strong>_

Adam Torres died on May 15Th.

When coming out of the comic book store on main street, the black truck coming near him lost control. In one second, the growing boy was walking with his brand comic book (the one that he had been saving up for ages.) and in another flash of a second, he lay on the pavement. His brown hair matted down with blood. And his usual smile disappeared with his breath and pulse.

He was dead.

His funeral was held the following weekend. Every Degrassi student came. Maybe to make sure that it was actually true, or maybe to have closure. Either way, they all came.

And even though few people knew him, knew him for what he truly was, it changed the people at Degrassi forever.

And for whatever reason why they came, one thing went through their heads: What now? Would they go to school and pretend nothing happened? Would someone else move into his locker? Would they be able to fill his spot in the hallway? And if they tried hard enough, would their memories of him go away?

They were also scared. Scared to the very bone. Every single one of them.

Because if one boy could die, what about the rest of them?

They were beginning to realize that they weren't invincible.

And that scared the shit out of them.

_**II. Life Is A Bitch**_

Clare Edwards studied herself in the mirror. It was strange, she felt different, but she looked the same. Her hair was still curly and her lips still pink. Her skin was still pale and her eyes still had that icy blue tint to it. But she felt like a stranger. Every motion she made was not made consciously. In fact, sometimes, she'd find herself in different locations and wonder how she got there.

_Is this what it feels like to lose someone?_

She bit her bottom lip fiercely and held back the tears that were threatening to snake down her rosy cheeks. She sniffed once, held her head up high, and walked out of the bathroom.

Trying not to show anything.

That would be best.

And as Clare Edwards went down the stairs in her house, ignoring her mom's worried glances, Elijah Goldsworthy was just waking up. And as she poured herself a glass of orange juice, Elijah Goldsworthy was holding back the tears that were swimming in his eyes.

Miles away, he sat in bed and rubbed his eyes. His breaths were coming out shaky and ragged. And he didn't know that at that time, Clare Edwards was sipping her orange juice, trying not to break down.

All he knew was that he hated it.

He hated how when someone dies, they finally get the attention that they deserve. But what Elijah Goldsworthy really hated was how this was the only time anyone ever cared about him. He hated how this was the only time that people thought about him. And most of all, he hated how in a year, Adam would still be dead and no one would remember him. He would be nothing but a distant memory, perhaps one from a past life.

And he knew that one day, a day too soon, he'd forget his beanie-wearing friend.

He would someday wake up and not immediately think of Adam.

Because that's life.

As people fade, so do our memories. And we can't do anything about it. And Eli knew that. He knew that first-hand.

Clare Edwards and Elijah Goldsworthy were two very different people, in two very different locations. Hell, I'd even say that they're opposites. But one things traveled throughout both of their minds.

_Life is a bitch._

**_III. The Theme Song Of Pain_**

It was a lovely Monday morning. The sun was out and the birds were chirping. Kids walked to school with their normal energy.

Except Clare.

She waited until her mother backed out of the driveway and then she pulled her bag on her shoulder while she ran out the door. She had one place in mind and, dammit, she was going to go there.

Back when Eli, Clare, and Adam were the three amigos, Eli and Adam often took Clare to that comic book shop. She'd bring her Kurt Vonnegut book and they'd snicker at all the different comics. And Clare would slowly put down her book and she'd look at them. Truly look at them. She'd look at their smiling faces as they glanced at each page. She'd grin as they threw their heads back with laughter.

She'd give anything to have that again.

She'd give every_fucking_thing.

Clare walked on the sidewalk, her head bent, and a determined look in her eyes. She hated the tears that were flowing freely. She hated them with everything she had. And she had very little.

Call it coincidence, but some might call it fate, but coming from the other side of town was Elijah Goldsworthy. And once again, neither knew that their minds were thinking alike.

Eli walked briskly down the street. The chains on his pants clanked and jingled with every step he took. Pain seeping into his body, he unclasped the chains from his pants and threw them into the road. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked on. Adam had often said that the sound of the chains moving was Eli's theme song.

And the two broken people, still at quite a distance from each other, looked up at the sun.

And they wondered how something so beautiful could be out when people were suffering.

**_IV. "Isn't That Cute?"_**

They see each other. And surprisingly, they aren't surprised. Maybe it's because it makes sense for them to both be there. For them to both be at where not only their friend's life stopped, but where he was happiest.

It made sense. Or that could just be the heart of the suffering.

Elijah Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards move closer until they are side-by-side.

"He's dead." She whispers, still trying to convince herself.

"He's dead." He replies thoughtfully. And there isn't much else to say. That had said what needed to be said.

Without thinking, Clare reaches her hand down and grabs Eli's. Eli doesn't seem bothered by it and he just squeezes back. And it's nice to be feeling someone else. It proved to them that while they were still hurting, they were still alive. And with each other by their side, they felt a little bit less lost and lonely. With this little touch, it was like a slight spark of happiness that had crawled underneath their souls.

And as they stood holding hands in front of the store, they could almost hear Adam Torres whisper,

"_Isn't that cute_?"

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><p><em><strong>So. I cried while writing this.<strong>_

_**I didn't really proof read this and I'm sorry if it sucks. **_

_**Review, please? :)**_


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